How to Deal with a Broken Heart

how to get over a broken heartHow to Deal with a Broken Heart

This article was written in partnership with eHarmony.com

I grab at my chest afraid that my heart might somehow explode out of my chest. I feel like I’m dying. I close my eyes and prepare for death. It’s got to be less painful than this.

Even lying on the bed requires too much energy. Somehow I manage to roll onto the floor. I am now literally laying flat on my back. My breath comes in short spurts. I try not to inhale too deeply because if I allow myself to breathe, I know that I will feel the searing pain in my heart.

So I hold my breath, anticipating the next wave of pain.

Inhale…inhale…exhale…sob…hold breath…repeat.

In a way it’s almost like giving birth.

I think about who I can call. Who will understand?

I texted my friend.

Me: I think I’m having a panic attack.
Her: What’s wrong?
Me: My heart is breaking.
As soon as I send these words my emotional water breaks and the tears came pouring out. I know that I will to have to deal with this. There is nowhere left for me to hide, nothing to distract me. No retail therapy or other men will fill the void and assuage the pain. I brace myself and let it wash over me.
I’m semi functional during the day but only because I don’t allow myself to feel anything. I walk around dead on the inside, almost zombie like. At night, the silence and nothingness of my dark room beckons to all of my repressed emotion. I completely fell apart but am careful enough to sob silently so as not to alert my roommates. I spend the next couple of weeks like this.
I don’t know exactly when the pain begins to subside but gradually I realized my heart isn’t as tender. The healing process has begun.

Though my heart had been broken many times before, this experience was different for several reasons:

1. I consciously altered an entrenched pattern
The morning I woke up and realized that I had deeper feelings for this man was anything but romantic, I decided to do things differently. It was downright terrifying. In the past, whenever I “liked” someone, it had always led to pain. To protect my heart, I stopped allowing myself to fall for anyone too deeply. When someone got too close and my fears and insecurities were triggered, I came up with creative ways to run away from the feelings.

This time, I made the conscious decision to do things differently. Instead of running away from the fear I felt, I found a way to express it; to myself through writing and to him in a way that he could hear.

In my conversation with him, I realized how much I had grown in my ability to communicate the emotions I was experiencing maturely and without judgment. Though he responded by telling me that he was “not ready for a relationship,” I was proud of myself for speaking my truth.

2. I let go of the relationship
The conversation revealed that what I wanted and what this man wanted were not the same. In the past, I would have stuck around, trying to convince him that he should want what I wanted; that he should want me.
Instead, I let him go.

I had the courage to say “no” to an experience that was not in alignment with what I wanted. Though it was emotionally painful, the truth of what I had given myself permission to do was a very powerful feeling.

3. I surrendered to the feelings
Over the next several months, I experienced so many different emotions; rejection, fear, pain and sadness. Instead of resisting or avoiding, I chose to give each of these feelings their space to rise and fall naturally.

I didn’t judge myself for being so “upset over a guy.” I was kind and loving and treated myself like I would a friend going through the same experience.

The feelings didn’t magically disappear. In fact, at times they were so strong it seemed I really would die from my broken heart. I was able to move through the pain and heal by facing my fears, opening my heart and surrendering.
Feelings are meant to be felt.

It’s OK to speak your truth.
Have the courage to let go of someone or something that is not aligned with who you are.

Good article on broken hearts

Affirmations For Love Your Husband Wants to Hear

Affirmations For LoveThanks again to www.mothersniche.com Affirmations For Love Your Husband Wants to Hear. Come on ladies, you know he is a little needy when it comes to feeling loved, so go on spoil him.

Thank you for working so hard
There’s my man!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
You are wonderful
Thank you for listening
That’s a fabulous idea!
Thank you for caring
I admire your strength
I trust you completely
You make things happen
Thanks for fixing that
How can I Help?
I admire your faith
You are an amazing father
I love to watch you be a dad
What a gentleman you are!
The day goes by 10 times faster when you’re home!
How are you so handsome?!
I can’t stop looking at you
Wow! Thank You
Thanks for all your help around the house
Thank you for leading, directing and protecting our family!
I trust you with everything
You did amazing
Thanks for doing that
I’m so happy
That was really kind of you
You are incredible
I like the way you think
You always have the best suggestions
Is there anything you can’t do?!
I love being with you
You are a genius!
You conquered today!
You are an amazing husband
I’m lucky to have you
I’m grateful I married you
Just hold me
I respect you for that
You are too good to me
That was so meaningful to me
Thank you for your sacrifice
You know exactly what I need!
I love it when you…
I am thrilled!
What would be a fun date night for you?
You are so funny
I’m in love with you
You will do great!
I’ve never known you not to succeed

Obviously every relationship is different, so not all of these will be your favorite…but you know your spouse best! Work with their love language and put these affirmations to work!

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE WORDS OF AFFIRMATION?

Would you add any to the list?

Affirmations that will change your life

What to do when your husband cheats?

What to do when your husband cheatsHow can I forgive my husband for cheating?

So many other questions come to mind and I would imagine have done for so many years for so many women. Divorce has only been an option recently for women to get out of their marriage if there was cheating involved. While this is one solution, its not necessarily the ideal one. Marriages can and do survive cheating a lot these days, in fact statistically the amount of cheating is incredible but also the amount of marriages that survive is also quite incredible. Apparently just over 40% of marriages have either partner admitting to cheating and what is interesting is the fact the numbers are quite equal between the sexes.

31% of marriages last after cheating has been found out, while 50% of all marriages end in divorce. So there is a good deal of hope in survival after cheating, if that is what you want to do.

So, lots of statistics, but does this help forgiving your man for potentially committing one of the ultimate sins? Probably not, but it gives you some context and shows it is really worth the effort as it can work.

For you to forgive him, you will need time and space to give this the thought it deserves, this is obviously an enormous blow to you. You need to really consider what it means to you and what YOU want to do with your life next. You need to take as much time as you need, you are in control now, no-one else, no-one else can call the shots now. You have all the cards or should do and if you don’t, make sure you do. You must not let anybody push you into any decisions until you are ready, if you do anything before you are good and ready, it could cause you to close down and prevent you from being able to think straight, which is not good for you, your marriage or anyone.

This stage is all about you. So if he is trying to get back into your life, there is nothing wrong in watching him work at it and dragging it out, after all it was his fault. And although it cannot remove the pain, it in some small way helps you and you deserve some small payback. But if you know he has no chance, it won’t make you feel better if you let him squirm for too long.

Women over the years have been told it is their fault if their man strays, which is ridiculous as you know. So do not blame yourself, he did this, he is responsible, take time to understand that. You have to forgive yourself first before you can ever consider forgiving him.

Forgiving someone for cheating has to be one of the most difficult things you can ever do in your life but it is possible and I hope the thoughts here can help you. It is not going to be easy, but if YOU want to do this after giving yourself time and careful consideration, I applaud your strength of character and wish you all the best in the world.

Good luck.

How to get back together after a break up (Lazy Man’s Guide)

How to get back together after a break upIt is very difficult to break up, and more so if it wasn’t your idea. And men can do some crazy stuff to get their wives or girlfriends back. They handle this traumatic time in many different ways. and the crazy stuff can consist of negotiating, begging, bribery, and sometimes stalking. Some men accept it and move on, in time and put it down to experience.

It will take time to fix a heart that is broken and restore enough confidence to get them back in the dating game. But some won’t take no for an answer and are desperate to get their girl back but have no real plan to do it, so often resort to some strange ideas.

But it is simpler than you may think.

Fortunately, hoop jumping really isn’t necessary to get her back. You don’t even have to do the chasing. You’ll probably be surprised to learn just how easy it can be to get her to come back to you. Here is a short list of things you can do easily.

Don’t phone her

This has got to be easy, right? Well it can be but men struggle with this particular inactivity as they need to protect and defend and therefore feel a great need to convince their ex to change their mind. And chase them down until they agree. But in real life this is not a great idea.

So, don’t phone her, give her some time to consider things and it was good between you.

Change some things at Home

Have a look at how you look, make some small changes, they will get noticed in a positive way. You don’t need a complete change. Try some gym work or get involved in sport to improve your fitness and tone. Maybe even try making your teeth whiter.

Also try and not eat as much, don’t have to diet, just cut out that second portion, portion control really works.

She will come around, you’ll see

News travels fast, even in your part of the world, your small changes will be noticed and that is exactly what you want. People and particularly your ex will want to know what is going on, why you have made the changes and who are they for. She will be going crazy, asking around to get the lowdown to find out how you are managing well on your own. She will try and accidently meet you in the mall or wherever to see for herself what has changed.

Then you have you big chance to speak to her on your terms as she will have come around and be interested again.

Now you know how to get back together after a break up.

Good luck.

Surviving a breakup

surviving a breakupI know you are here because you are struggling with a really tough situation, I have been there and you don’t know what to do for the best, breaking up with a loved one is so painful.


But I think I can help you, I have found a Southern guy, who has a Southern drawl but he knows what he is talking about. I really like what he says about how you can really turn this around if you stop what you are doing and follow his advice. He says you have to start with what’s inside you. In fact he has a video that can help you RIGHT NOW and I would love for you to watch it here.


This guy has helped over 50,000 people across 77 countries and I would love you to meet him, his name is T. Dub Jackson. To be honest I am not sure if he can you in your particular situation, but you have nothing to lose by watching his great videos, no bs, just straight talking advice, you can use right now..

You could be going about this all wrong… He tells you what you should do when you contact your ex next.


He can do more than help you in surviving a breakup, he can help you get back with your ex.

Good reference for relationships

Good luck in surviving a breakup, your breakup, but please remember, you don’t have to only survive it you can rebuild it.