As we go through life, all of us will experience some sort of painful loss at some point, overcoming a relationship break up is one of those painful loses. It can seem like you will never laugh or love again when you are in the middle of a breakup. Just remember, that no matter how impossible it seems at this moment, you will laugh and love again, as long as you allow yourself to do so.
The sad fact is that many of us don’t know how to deal with the hurt and we shut down. That’s not a problem as long as it’s only temporary, but some people just don’t snap out of it and they live the rest of their lives not trusting or loving anyone again… and that is a true shame.
When you deeply love someone it’s impossible to believe that you could ever love anyone again, especially the first time you fall in love. But, as you grow older and have more experiences you’ll learn that you can love many people throughout your lifetime and while no two relationships will be exactly the same, they can all be very fulfilling and you can feel deep love in each one.
When it comes to finding the best way to move through the heartache of a broken relationship it’s best to remember that you have (or can have with some practice) complete control over your thoughts. You can teach yourself to stop wallowing in the pain and force yourself to think more positively about the future. When you learn to do this you will find that you will move on so much more quickly after a painful situation.
If this sounds dumb to you, think of it like this: if you cut yourself and a scab forms when does the cut hurt the most? When you are ignoring it and going about your daily life or when you are sitting looking at it and picking at the scab? Sure, it might be somewhat painful all the time but when you focus on it you are focusing on the pain and of course, if you pay attention to it you’ll feel it more. It is the same concept with a broken relationship.
So, try mind over matter yourself next time you’re overcoming a relationship break up. Don’t dwell on the pain but focus on happy thoughts and you’ll see that you can move on a little more quickly.
Filed under Relationship Revival by on Jul 16th, 2010. Comment. 
Before you and your ex fall into the pattern of relationship break up get back together, slow down a bit. This may sound wonderful and romantic but unless the two of you have faced the issues that tore you apart the first time around and made changes, you’ll just repeat the same cycle over and over again. Is that what you want, to constantly cause each other pain?
To really have a shot at getting back with your ex, and being happy, the first thing you should do is take a few steps back and give serious thought to what has happened and what needs to change so the two of you can have a stronger, more loving relationship. Owning up to your own shortcomings (for both of you) won’t be much fun but it’s a necessary step.
There are some relationships that are just too unhealthy and they should never continue. If you or your ex has some serious issues such as an abusive nature, or an addiction, you should not consider any type of reconciliation until those problems are dealt with. I don’t mean that you or your ex promises to get help, I mean that the person with the issue is going to counselling on a regular basis and has been for a while and there are real, tangible signs of change.
The best course of action is to talk to your ex and let them know that you’d like to work on the relationship… together. This will be good for several reasons. For one thing, you will be showing your partner that you are treating your relationship seriously and that you care enough to invest the time it takes to make things right. Another thing is that so many couples don’t work together well, learning to work together by working on your relationship is a great way to start, and it can really build trust between the two of you.
Sometimes we need to lose someone we love to fully appreciate them, it’s sad but true. If you find yourself in a cycle of relationship break up get back together, there are steps you can take to make sure that this time when you get back together it will work out and it will be good for both of you.
Filed under Relationship Revival by on Jul 14th, 2010. Comment.
