So many other questions come to mind and I would imagine have done for so many years for so many women. Divorce has only been an option recently for women to get out of their marriage if there was cheating involved. While this is one solution, its not necessarily the ideal one. Marriages can and do survive cheating a lot these days, in fact statistically the amount of cheating is incredible but also the amount of marriages that survive is also quite incredible. Apparently just over 40% of marriages have either partner admitting to cheating and what is interesting is the fact the numbers are quite equal between the sexes.
31% of marriages last after cheating has been found out, while 50% of all marriages end in divorce. So there is a good deal of hope in survival after cheating, if that is what you want to do.
So, lots of statistics, but does this help forgiving your man for potentially committing one of the ultimate sins? Probably not, but it gives you some context and shows it is really worth the effort as it can work.
For you to forgive him, you will need time and space to give this the thought it deserves, this is obviously an enormous blow to you. You need to really consider what it means to you and what YOU want to do with your life next. You need to take as much time as you need, you are in control now, no-one else, no-one else can call the shots now. You have all the cards or should do and if you don’t, make sure you do. You must not let anybody push you into any decisions until you are ready, if you do anything before you are good and ready, it could cause you to close down and prevent you from being able to think straight, which is not good for you, your marriage or anyone.
This stage is all about you. So if he is trying to get back into your life, there is nothing wrong in watching him work at it and dragging it out, after all it was his fault. And although it cannot remove the pain, it in some small way helps you and you deserve some small payback. But if you know he has no chance, it won’t make you feel better if you let him squirm for too long.
Women over the years have been told it is their fault if their man strays, which is ridiculous as you know. So do not blame yourself, he did this, he is responsible, take time to understand that. You have to forgive yourself first before you can ever consider forgiving him.
Forgiving someone for cheating has to be one of the most difficult things you can ever do in your life but it is possible and I hope the thoughts here can help you. It is not going to be easy, but if YOU want to do this after giving yourself time and careful consideration, I applaud your strength of character and wish you all the best in the world.