3 Simple Steps to Connect More Deeply with Your Husband

how to save a relationshipHere is a great post by www.happywivesclub.com 3 Simple Steps to Connect More Deeply with Your Husband, it could also be called how to save a relationship, your relationship. Real easy to do, just do it.

Kim Hall is a great contributor to the website – www.happywivesclub.com

The more I got to know her, the more I realized how deep that happiness ran (and her passion for practicing gratitude daily).

This much I know about Kim: she loves her husband, she adores her family, she is living the life she most desires, and she’s pretty darn happy!

For those reasons (and so many more), I love reading everything she writes. So without further ado…

Have you ever gotten into an apocalyptic battle a civil discussion with your husband about how you are being treated like a slave are not feeling appreciated?

Did you gain insight and perspective, or did one or both of you just ultimately walk away from the conversation with more hurt feelings?

Some time ago my hubby and I learned a better way to handle these situations, and we always come away feeling more enlightened and connected.

Here are 3 simple steps to connect more deeply with your husband:

1. Set the stage. Plan for quiet time together, just the two of you (no television or other distractions), perhaps by taking a walk, relaxing after a meal, or just getting comfortable.

2. Ask the question. The essence is this:“What do I do that shows you I love you?”

I encourage you to introduce it like this: “I’m curious. I’ve been thinking about the things that I do or could do that show you I love you, and I wonder if you would share something I do that makes you feel loved.

Your husband may need some time to think, possibly beyond today, especially if he feels he’s being pressured to give the “right answer”, which is probably not his true answer. Just be patient. After all, nagging probably doesn’t make him feel loved. 🙂

3. Respond with loving action. . . even if his answer is not what you expected. There’s an excellent possibility he may not answer with the ONE THING that you are sure makes his heart sing. But then, that is the whole point of asking, isn’t it? Your goal is to gather quality information and act with awareness so your husband will feel deeply loved.

If his answer surprises and/or disappoints you, this is NOT your cue to pounce on him like a tiger on wounded prey. Take a few deep breaths and get curious rather than frustrated.

Take the opportunity to share with him as well. Let him know something he does that shows you he loves you. These actions can take many forms, such as leaving little love notes, gently touching your shoulder, taking out the trash, giving you his undivided attention, etc.

Once he shares what makes him feel loved, be sure to do more of that, and you will be delighted by the results!

Remember, it is what we pay attention to in our relationship that grows.

QUESTION: What do you do that shows your husband you love him, or what does he do for you? I invite you to join in the conversation!

Knowing how to save a relationship is fundamental these days.

What to do when your husband cheats?

What to do when your husband cheatsHow can I forgive my husband for cheating?

So many other questions come to mind and I would imagine have done for so many years for so many women. Divorce has only been an option recently for women to get out of their marriage if there was cheating involved. While this is one solution, its not necessarily the ideal one. Marriages can and do survive cheating a lot these days, in fact statistically the amount of cheating is incredible but also the amount of marriages that survive is also quite incredible. Apparently just over 40% of marriages have either partner admitting to cheating and what is interesting is the fact the numbers are quite equal between the sexes.

31% of marriages last after cheating has been found out, while 50% of all marriages end in divorce. So there is a good deal of hope in survival after cheating, if that is what you want to do.

So, lots of statistics, but does this help forgiving your man for potentially committing one of the ultimate sins? Probably not, but it gives you some context and shows it is really worth the effort as it can work.

For you to forgive him, you will need time and space to give this the thought it deserves, this is obviously an enormous blow to you. You need to really consider what it means to you and what YOU want to do with your life next. You need to take as much time as you need, you are in control now, no-one else, no-one else can call the shots now. You have all the cards or should do and if you don’t, make sure you do. You must not let anybody push you into any decisions until you are ready, if you do anything before you are good and ready, it could cause you to close down and prevent you from being able to think straight, which is not good for you, your marriage or anyone.

This stage is all about you. So if he is trying to get back into your life, there is nothing wrong in watching him work at it and dragging it out, after all it was his fault. And although it cannot remove the pain, it in some small way helps you and you deserve some small payback. But if you know he has no chance, it won’t make you feel better if you let him squirm for too long.

Women over the years have been told it is their fault if their man strays, which is ridiculous as you know. So do not blame yourself, he did this, he is responsible, take time to understand that. You have to forgive yourself first before you can ever consider forgiving him.

Forgiving someone for cheating has to be one of the most difficult things you can ever do in your life but it is possible and I hope the thoughts here can help you. It is not going to be easy, but if YOU want to do this after giving yourself time and careful consideration, I applaud your strength of character and wish you all the best in the world.

Good luck.